Birth, Death, and the In-Between: A Pisces Season Beginning

Today is my birthday.

And today, my father passed away.

Two beginnings. One ending. A cycle closing and opening at the exact same moment. A very specific experience—one I could never have predicted, yet one that feels cosmically intentional.

I spent 38 years without a single connection between my birthday and my father, through no fault of our own. I spent years deciding whether or not I’d set out to find him, knowing full well that it might not end the way I hoped. But I found him.

I spent 12 years getting to know him—learning all the ways we were alike and all the ways we weren’t. I learned what it feels like to know where you come from… but as an adult. I navigated how the very walls I built to protect myself from his absence made it harder to connect as deeply as I wanted when he was finally present. I learned that I had a half-sister I was named after.

I learned how grief and gratitude can live in the same breath.

And now, as Pisces season begins—this deeply spiritual, boundary-blurring, in-between space of endings and beginnings—I am living that truth in the most visceral way.

Pisces is the final sign of the zodiac. It represents the ocean of emotions we all exist within, whether we acknowledge it or not. It is the space between worlds, where the veils are thin, and time feels fluid. Birth and death hold hands here.

And today, on the very first day of Pisces season, on my birthday, my father transitioned out of this world.

The irony? The poetry? The sheer cosmic humor? It’s all there.

Grief is a very specific experience. It carries the weight of coulds. It could’ve been different. It could’ve been better. It could’ve been more. But now, it’s done. I’ve felt this before—with both of my parents’ deaths. But this time, I am not distracting myself away from the emotions. I am not busying myself or focusing on others.

I am in it. Fully.

Because Pisces season asks us to surrender. To feel it all.

I am feeling it all.

The waves crash over me—grief, love, regret, gratitude. My chest tightens, my throat closes, and then, for a moment, I can breathe. And then another wave. Another moment.

For the first time, I am not fighting the ocean. I am allowing myself to float.

Pisces teaches us that the full spectrum of human emotion is the gift of embodiment. You want the highs? You have to accept the lows. You have to swim in the deep waters of love and loss, joy and pain, connection and separation. Accept them, and know they carry truth.

I had no idea it would be this painful to lose my father.

And I’d do it again and again and again.

Because finding him was worth it. Period.

Losing him will always be with me. Especially now, in every experience of my birthday.

And while it rips me up inside…

I’m so fucking grateful for it.

This is Pisces energy. This is the truth of existence. This is surrendering to what is.

And today, I have no choice but to surrender.